Degrees of Freedom
by This Day And Age
Summary: When Yukari let her newest creation, a book and weapon in one, become a sentient tsukumogami, she didn't quite expect all that would occur as a result. To be perfectly fair, neither did he. Nor anyone else. (A novice author's attempt at creating an original character with more complexity than "everyday outsider gapped into Gensokyo." Criticism welcomed and encouraged.)
1. Prologue, Part I

**This story is an experiment more than anything else. Creating a Touhou OC without resorting to "GENERIC OUTSIDER WITH HIDDEN POWERS GETS GAPPED IN" was harder than expected; hopefully the scenario that unfolds here is believable. If everything else about my story is a virtual trainwreck, well, at least my character is nothing like me! Hehe.**

 **The dialogue style in this chapter was fun to write. Maybe not so fun to read. Let me know and I'll adjust accordingly.**

 **Spoiler: the prologue is _really_ damn boring.**

* * *

Prologue, Part I

Quantum Theory

On a cold December night in 1916, the rooms of the Yakumo household were unlit. With one exception.

In her study, Yukari stared blankly down at her handiwork, either in awe or in disbelief.

It was done. After five hundred and twelve years, it was finally done.

Precisely aleph-zero pages long yet conveniently compacted into the space of a small novel, the Book of Absolute Physical States—a pretentious name, Yukari admitted—was quite the dangerous addition to her arsenal. At first glance, it appeared as innocuous as a typical violet hardcover (because yes, it looked exactly like one). However, upon opening it...

Yukari scanned the first page, observing the glowing runes haphazardly partitioned, some intersected, by innumerable lines. Some of the runes were clear and sharp, representing known and definite states. Others were blurred and amorphous, designating circumstances and conditions yet undetermined. As for the lines, well, she had no idea, but she suspected they divided space in some way.

She wasn't willing to dive too deeply into experimentation, though. Tampering with anything could have...unpleasant ramifications. One of the signs, however, she knew to be relatively risk-free. Channeling power into the top-leftmost character, a tiny perfect circle, she watched it fragment into tiny arcs.

You did not read that sentence wrong.

The shattering of her wooden desk (she didn't even know wood _could_ shatter) startled her out of her mesmerized state, and she quickly conjured a gap under the book to catch it before it fell to the ground.

"Mistress Yukari!" She heard a frightened Ran call out from a distant part of the residence. "Was that you?"

For the moment, Yukari ignored her shikigami. What would happen if she moved the circle back into place...?

She smiled to herself as the pieces reassembled themselves into the original worktable.

It made total sense. The first symbol corresponded to the nearest object.

Functionally, everything was fine. Now all she needed to do was find someone capable of operating this device for her.

...Yukari frowned. She should have seen this issue coming.

* * *

"I don't need to calculate the odds of someone knowing how to use an abstract text you created yourself." Ran sipped her tea before continuing. "You know this. Either you or I must eventually learn how to use it, and that necessitates meddling with it."

By Yukari's request, Ran had joined her at breakfast. Not that the kitsune didn't usually dine with her master; the invitation was more to imply a matter of utmost importance.

Yukari sighed. "Even in Gensokyo?"

Ran tilted her head. "Hm?"

"Even here, where most _humans_ , let alone _youkai_ , are uniquely capable of feats the Outside World can only dream of, no one can handle something as ordinary as a book?"

"With all due respect, Mistress," Ran began carefully, "you are as aware of the ridiculousness of that question as I am."

Normally, Yukari would lightly scold her for such impertinence. However, Ran was correct in this instance. "I suppose."

A period of silence followed, with no activity other than the occasional twitch of Ran's tails.

"Do you have any reason to believe that someone _does_ understand your creation?" Ran inquired.

Yukari laughed hollowly. "Not at all. Forgive me. It was wishful thinking on my part." She stroked her chin, deep in thought. "...Ran?"

"Yes?"

"Can you calculate the odds of someone learning how to use the Book more easily than we could?"

Ran looked at her in confusion. "Why? Even if such an individual existed, she—"

"Or he."

"—Or he would still need trial and error to—"

Yukari cut her off. "I'm aware. However, _less_ blind stumbling would lower the risk of catastrophe."

"Not by enough," Ran countered. "It's all too easy for something to go wrong."

"A couple of guesses wouldn't be too bad. Easily fixable."

"How would you know?"

Ran received no reply.

She sighed. "I don't know, Mistress..."

"To hell with the easy methods, then," Yukari concluded. "I do have one more idea, one I've had for a while."

Ran looked askance at her. "Is it absurd?" she asked brusquely.

Yukari slumped. "Unfortunately so. However! If we are meticulous and lucky, it can work."

"Oh, that's good. I was worried we would need the assistance of some obscure pantheon. Again."

"Hush, you. I haven't called on them since. Besides, I only did it the first time for fun."

"'Fun'," Ran repeated with air quotes. "Anyway, continue. What is this plan of yours?"

"We need someone tailor-made for specifically this purpose. I agree with you: trying to find that person in Gensokyo would be akin to looking for a Model T in the Sahara Desert; it doesn't make sense to even expect it."

"I don't quite understand what you're getting at."

"There is only one entity that knows the Book's secrets."

Ran quirked her eyebrow. "That being...?"

"The Book itself, of course." Yukari smirked. "Do you see what I mean?"

A wary shaking of the head was her shikigami's response.

"Suppose we could communicate with the Book to have it manipulate itself. Let it make decisions. Make it intelligent...sentient, even."

"That sounds awfully far-fetched."

"Does it now? Inanimate objects becoming sentient? Think about it."

Slowly, realization crept onto Ran's face. "B-but that's—"

"Lateral thinking? Certainly. Preposterous? To some extent. But it's ingenious, is it not?"

The two pondered this idea, more than enough food for thought. Ironically, the physical food remained untouched.

"...So," Ran said, "Leave it there for a hundred years? Is that your entire scheme?"

Yukari shook her head. "There's no telling what the Book will do in its first moments of life, so we need to give it knowledge and self-control to start with. Similar to what I did to you when you became my shikigami, except much less extensively. We'll need to prepare a ritual, perhaps several."

"There's the obvious problem that the Book technically isn't alive yet," Ran pointed out. "How do we convey information to an inanimate object?"

"There are ways," Yukari responded simply. "Which you and I will have to research."

Ran nodded. "Also, tsukumogami generally dislike their owners, do they not?"

"Only if they were mistreated during their years of service," Yukari clarified. "But yes, we should demonstrate care." She paused. "Is that all?"

Truthfully, Ran still had doubts about this whole plan. From her perspective, her master always threw caution to the wind and practically ignored risk vs. reward. So far, Yukari had been relatively successful, but when would her cunning and luck run out?

Yet Ran did not speak her mind. "Yes. I have no further questions at this time."

"Good." Yukari gestured to the plates. "Then let us eat."

* * *

Thirteen years passed.

"Are you ready? We can afford no mistakes."

"Readier than ever, Mistress."

Yukari looked down at the mess of papers, ink-written kanji, and obscure materials cluttering the room. In the center of the room was the Book, still untouched atop her desk. Around it she'd drawn two concentric circles: a small one on the desk itself and a larger one on the floor. Both had elaborate, rotationally symmetrical patterns on their border. Two diametrically opposite squares—one close to the window, the other (probably) under the dead cherry blossoms and ancient scripts near the door—marked where she and Ran would stand.

The first rite wasn't particularly complicated—twenty-three spells over the course of two hours was nothing compared to what she'd need to do in the future—but it was arguably the most important. Failing to immediately establish a good connection to the target, be it human, youkai, or (in this case) inanimate object, often permanently prevented compatibility. First impressions mattered, after all, even when dealing with the arcane.

"You know the precise routine?"

Ran rolled her eyes. "No offense, but you've made me practice this for the past two years. I'd hope I know it by now."

"Just making sure, dear." Yukari exhaled deeply. "Well, let's get to it then, shall we?"

* * *

Twenty-nine years passed.

"Humans are monstrous, aren't they?" Yukari murmured.

Through the gap that Yukari had conjured, Ran stared wide-eyed at what used to be a bustling city. "Dear lord..."

"If anyone survived the blast, the radiation will probably kill them off before long." Yukari closed her eyes. "We're truly in the modern age; this is the last spiritual sanctuary. Expect more youkai to show up soon."

"That could be a problem," Ran said. "We're already over 70 percent of our maximum capacity. And if my estimations are anywhere near correct, Japanese youkai alone will at least double our current population. Combine that with expected population growth and the possible arrival of our European counterparts who've just heard of Gensokyo, and...well, you have some decisions to make about who you want here."

Yukari shook her head. "There will be no decisions. We will accept any and every youkai."

"But how?" Ran questioned. "You are promising the impossible."

"You forget that I was the one who made the Barrier to begin with, and that most of my power is locked inside it, keeping it functional. I could easily make a larger one—"

"But that's _suicidal_ ," Ran interjected. "Even maintaining this barrier is, by your own admission, taxing. How weak will you become?"

Yukari laughed. "You underestimate your Mistress, Ran. Even now, I am still stronger than I was centuries ago. During the failed invasion of the Moon, for instance. I will manage."

"Will you?"

There was a long silence.

"Somehow, I suppose."

* * *

Sixty-seven years passed.

Yukari and Ran had performed the second, third, and fourth rites without a hitch; the energy siphoned by the enlarged Great Hakurei Barrier had not slowed the former down by much. Already they'd installed, so to speak, basic knowledge about Gensokyo's geography and history, simple personality characteristics (formality with a dash of mischievousness when called for), and some physical traits. Specifically, Yukari had decided on a 6'4", black-haired male. With raven wings.

"Why?" Ran had asked.

"Aesthetics," Yukari replied, a grin on her face. "Besides, a generic human male is too boring, no? For the sake of the story, just humor me."

So Ran did, and everything went smoothly.

However, one point to bear in mind. In keeping with the times, let's use a programming analogy: asking a computer to obtain, retain, or display information? Relatively straightforward. Asking it to think and act _based_ on that information? Infinitely more difficult.

Hence why the fifth ritual, implementing logic, reason, and sentience, spanned most of the house. The scattered tall glass conduits, metal constructs, miscellaneous substances, painstakingly handwritten sigils, complicated markings, and absolutely _ungodly_ number of parchment sheets all over the place left little room to maneuver. Between these spell components and relocated objects such as furniture, nary a square inch of floor space was spared.

Yukari couldn't recall the last time she felt as nervous and—dare she say it—fearful as she did now. She'd expected the Moon invasion to fall through, so she had no pressure. As for the Great Hakurei Barrier, she could have remade it if her first attempt had flaws; indeed, she ended up doing so. Here, she didn't have either luxury. Botching even the most trivial step could result in anything from no results whatsoever to creating a vengeful entity. And if the Book worked as intended, she _definitely_ did not want the latter.

Still, she was confident in herself. Eleven years of planning tended to instill such a belief.

"You know your part," Yukari told Ran. She did not ask.

"I do," Ran answered. "I hope that I do not run into you when moving between rooms."

"I as well." Yukari took one last look around her study and at her creation, the same as ever, before beckoning Ran to follow her. "Come along."

* * *

Eighty-one years passed.

"Hmm..." Ran examined the various suits on display. "Outside world fashion is fairly sophisticated. And foreign."

"We're in Venice, Ran. I would be shocked if they sold yukatas. I believe this particular style of clothing is called a tuxedo." Yukari plucked it off the rack. "Named after a high-class American locale, if memory serves me correctly."

"It looks quite elegant," Ran commented. She held up the other items they'd picked up. "And it's to be worn with...what is this?"

"That's a dress shirt and black pants, Ran."

Ran dropped said articles of clothing back into the bag. "My bad. I meant this."

"Oh. That's a tie. The modern cravat."

"...I don't know what that is either."

Yukari giggled. "You didn't read that French history book I bought, did you?"

Ran hung her head in shame. "Sorry."

"It's alright, dear." Marching up to the cashier, Yukari plopped down her purchases-to-be, quickly switching her language to Italian (yes, she can do that) at the same time. "I'll take these."

The man at the register looked down at what she'd bought. "Ma'am, are you sure you want these?"

"Of course."

"They're—" He coughed awkwardly. "They're not your size. Or gender."

Yukari blinked. "Oh, I'm buying these for a friend."

"Ah!" The man seemed simultaneously embarrassed and relieved. "My apologies."

* * *

Eighty-four years passed.

Ran smacked the bulge in the center of the bed with a pillow. "Wake up, Mistress Yukari!"

She received a most unrefined whine in reply. "Five minutes, Ran, _pleeeeeeeeeeease..._ "

"It's the new millenium!" Ran yelled. "Aren't you excited?"

"Only by the Outside World calendar..."

Ran groaned. "Fine. It's a new year."

"Now that's something I do care about."

"So are you going to get up?"

"No."

Ran facepalmed. "Are you aware of what time it is?"

"It's...11:36. In the morning."

"I'm about to prepare _lunch_. Besides, you mentioned something about a ceremony in the afternoon."

"What are you—Oh." Yukari suddenly sat up, eyes bleary and hair a total mess. "It _is_ today."

"You never told me what 'it' was," Ran said as she turned to leave, "But at least you're awake."

"A quick lunch will do, Ran. I need some time."

Ran stopped. "What for?"

"Nyoko was expecting a daughter this afternoon. And you know the Hakurei maidens are almost always precisely correct concerning such matters."

"Ah. What's her name?"

Yukari smiled sleepily. "That's what I have to help her decide. I need to come up with suggestions by the time I arrive."

* * *

Four hours more passed.

"She's beautiful," Ran whispered.

Nyoko smiled up at her from her bed, cradling the softly crying newborn in her arms. "She is, isn't she?"

"Quiet, too," the doctor, adjusting his glasses, noted. "She will be a wonderful successor, I am sure. And yes, no obvious defects or deficiencies."

The shrine maiden nodded. "Thank you." Then, turning to Yukari, she asked, "So, what do you think?"

"Hmm..." Yukari examined the child closely. "Stubborn, dedicated, powerful. More so than even you."

"She's special, no doubt," Ran affirmed.

"And so she must have a special name. How about..." Yukari smirked. She'd decided before she'd even arrived. "...Reimu? Reimu Hakurei."

* * *

One hundred years passed.

One hundred years, and the book had not moved an inch.

One hundred years, and the book had not been touched.

Today, in the darkness of Yukari's study, it trembled.

Just outside in the hall, Ran gasped. "Did you hear that?" she whispered to Yukari.

"Yes. Give it a minute—wait." Yukari listened intently. "It wants water. Can you fetch a glass?"

Ran wordlessly handed her a bottle.

"...Good thinking." She knocked twice. "May we come in?"

The door swung open. "But of course," was the man's raspy reply.

"Here. Your water." Noticing Ran's intense blush, she chuckled. "Oh, right. I'll get you your clothes, too."

* * *

 **Please do leave reviews. Advice is worth its...weight...in gold...**

 **Shit, that idiom doesn't really apply here, does it?**


	2. Prologue, Part II

**A little late, sorry. Had to attend a national science competition. Kind of boring, but my team did well. So I can't complain.**

 **Originally, I planned to write another 2000 or so words and post the whole thing as Chapter 1. However, I felt that the contents of the first portion still had the feel of a prologue, so I labeled it as such and posted it as the standalone section you are currently reading. Chapter 1 will feature encounters with other people, though probably not the usual first faces.**

 **It should be mentioned that if you didn't like Part I, you'll probably hate Part II. My specialty is taking a boring plot and enhancing its sleep-inducing qualities.**

 **I will revise this chapter before I have to leave again. Relatives.**

 **In case you're wondering why Yukari and Ran aren't acting like silly, adorable lolis, just stop and ponder whether or not they should under these circumstances. I figure they're old enough to recognize the need for propriety. Also, I find it incredibly cringe-worthy when every Touhou character seemingly melts in front of a womanizing Gappy Stu, so consider this story my petty retort.**

 **Don't worry, though, some of the other residents of Gensokyo are quite a bit less mature. There will be happy days ahead. Romance as well, if I can bring myself to update during the school year.**

 **I named my OC after my favorite physicist. And I couldn't resist referencing some of my beloved classics, either. Props if you recognize every single one, though they're all famous.**

* * *

Prologue, Part II

What's In A Name?

"This suit is of excellent quality." The man grimaced. "But the pants are a little small."

Yukari looked at him, then at his reflection in the full body mirror; she had to admit, having one lying around came in handy sometimes. A daunting physical presence, a signature outfit, a dominant body feature; all as expected. She could have sworn she purchased the 34/36, but she had to admit that he did seem slightly too large for the size she'd bought. "So they are. We'll take care of it."

"No need." Half-walking, half-stumbling over to the Book of Absolute Physical States—which _still_ hadn't moved—he opened to the first page. Picking a rectangular symbol near the top left corner, he placed his index and middle fingers just above it and spread them slightly.

Yukari watched intently. Hm. As expected, the pages dynamically shifted as the environment did. Objects near the front of the book were closer and more immediately manipulable; objects more distant were farther and required more energy to alter. Just as her design intended. Considering space (time too, but she didn't think the Book dealt with it) was relative in nature, this system made the most sense.

She could also perceive the slight increase in size of both the rectangle on the page and the man's trousers, no doubt the effect of the man's actions.

"How did you do that?" Ran asked. "Is it instinctual?"

A nod. "Somewhat. I also see more of the Book than you do."

Yukari quirked her eyebrow. "Explain."

"Let me guess..." The man pointed to the symbol he'd just enlarged. "You only see a rectangle, correct?"

"Yes."

"Well, I can discern what it corresponds to naturally. It's almost like seeing the world in miniature." He put a hand to his head. "Well, in a manner of speaking. It's complicated."

"So in addition to that rectangle, you saw...what?"

"Uh..." He shrugged. "A pair of trousers. What else?"

The three youkai all stared at each other, unsure how to proceed.

"Intriguing," Yukari muttered. "So the Book isn't just a three-dimensional object. It's a 3-manifold containing innumerable objects." Briefly contemplating the existence of such a construct, she shook her head. "We'll discuss this later. How are the wings?"

"I can flap them, though it's a little uncomfortable when I fully spread them."

Ran inspected the holes she'd cut on the back of the man's suit, out from which his wings protruded. "I can make the slits a little bigger if needed. Tomorrow morning, that is. It's getting late."

"I'll handle it myself later." The man tried to smile warmly at her, obviously unfamiliar with how to do so; a century of solitude and lifelessness were hardly conducive to developing proper social mannerisms. Turning to his master, he seemed confused. "If I am not mistaken, you have not yet given me a name."

Yukari nodded. "You shall choose one yourself."

"How?"

She briefly glanced at Ran. With a nod, the kitsune silently exited stage left.

With a grand wave of her hand, the great youkai summoned a gap near the ceiling. Out from it poured books.

Shakespearean plays, various biographies, historical accounts, compilations of scientific papers, mystery novels, adult romances, folk tales, Greek and Roman epics, a heavy dose of fiction, awful derivative works, even the _Encyclopedia Britannica_ —many, _many_ books.

He winced. She smiled.

"Good luck."

The door closed behind her.

* * *

Reading, the tsukumogami soon discovered, had inexplicable appeal; it stimulated his brain in ways he didn't believe possible. Within the first five minutes the allure of Agatha Christie had engrossed him completely, his mind lost in the adventures of Hercule Poirot aboard the Orient Express. From there he decided to travel to Styles, to Mesopotamia, to a Nile steamboat, back to Styles...

What enthralling plots, breathtaking in their grandeur, realism, and intrigue.

That clever little Belgian.

In a comfortable armchair that Yukari had pilfered on the spot (lord knows from where), the man stared out the window at the moonless night sky. He sighed. If only Hercule had a less cumbersome moniker!

Alas, the search for a suitable name would have to continue.

Interestingly enough, every single text Yukari provided was of Western origin. He did not expect to find many, if any, Japanese figures featured in their pages, but a foreign name in Gensokyo would immediately single him out as peculiar. Why compel him to choose one, then? He couldn't think of a reason.

He looked up, facing the mountain of musty tomes on the desk. Walking over, he selected one at random and examined the cover. _Moby Dick_ , it read.

Flipping to the first page, he stopped. "'Call me Ishmael', hm?" he muttered. "Well, on to the next one."

Come to think of it, perhaps he should scour the Bible for potential names.

No, too simple. He needed something more...unique.

Picking up a yellowed and apparently ancient copy of the _Aeneid_ , he sighed. Tricky business.

A gap opened next to him, from which an arm placed a cup of piping-hot tea onto one of the few unoccupied regions of desk space before retracting itself.

"It's lapsang souchong," he heard Yukari comment from the floating anomaly. "A premium variety of it, from Wuyi. Unfortunately, it's difficult to find anything near the highest quality, but I will purchase more soon. If the opportunity arises."

The exquisite fragrance alone conveyed the quality of the product. A medium roast, if he had to guess.

"Well?" his master asked expectantly.

He took a sip.

Smoky and sweet. Well aged, no doubt.

"Delicious," he said simply. "Thank you."

Yukari giggled. "You're welcome. By the way..." Her voice became serious. "Don't rush it. Finding a fitting name takes patience and effort."

The man muttered a complaint darkly under his breath. "What is the purpose of a good name, anyway? It is but a word. A method of recognition."

"What's in a name, hmm?" He could practically hear his master grin, a sensation that unnerved him (to put it lightly). "Power, pride, respect, virtue—what _isn't_ in a name?"

"I don't understand your point."

Yukari hummed cheerfully. "Take your time. We have plenty of it, after all."

* * *

Six hours passed, the sun had risen, and the man had explored Hogwarts, ascended the Lonely Mountain, walked around the grounds of Pemberley, trekked to Schiaparelli crater, and more.

Eleven more books perused, some interesting, some immediately discarded.

Thirty-three books in all, and not one name stood out.

How frustrating.

A knock at the door broke his reverie. "Come in."

He turned to see the sleepy, smiling face of Yukari. "Oh my. Have you been reading this whole time?"

Now that she mentioned it, he _did_ feel rather tired. "Indeed, Lady Yukari. Between the tea and these wonderful books, I must have forgotten to sleep."

"Oh, am I a Lady now?" Yukari laughed, sitting down on a chair that certainly wasn't there before. "How delightful. However, I must blame myself. I didn't show you where your room was, did I?"

The man's face lit up in realization. "Oh. I have my own room?"

"What, did you think you'd stay in my study?"

He shrugged.

"Well, we've prepared your bed and belongings, so I'll take you there later." Yukari folded her hands. "Now, what progress have you made?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "I've no inspiration, unfortunately. I cannot discern the meaning of Western names, and the characters are fictional, so it is hard to associate myself with them."

To his surprise, Yukari grinned widely. Almost menacingly.

"Oh, silly. Western names are fundamentally different from Japanese names. They don't have literal meanings."

He tilted his head, confused. "Then how do I know what name I should choose?"

"Whoever you admire or empathize with, of course. Which brings me to my next point." Yukari handed him the biography of Erwin Rommel. "Real-life heroes of our time are always superior to those that only exist in ink. You've been reading the wrong books—for the current situation, that is. Classics they are no doubt, but you will not find the person you are looking for in them."

"In that case..." He closed his eyes. What were his interests? What fascinated him?

Of course. He was born from the Book of Absolute Physical States. Trivial question.

"Do you have a book on physics?"

* * *

"I've brought you lunch."

Setting down his copy of the _Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica_ , the man looked up. "Oh, thank you. Just set it over..." His voice trailed off as he observed the heap of books on the desk.

The corners of Ran's lips curled upward in amusement. "Perhaps we should make space for it, yes?"

About half a minute later, the two had created enough room for Ran to set down the tray she was carrying. "Here. I don't know your tastes, so let me know how it is."

He examined the items offered. The bowl in the center contained an aromatic, dark broth with chunks of meat, carrots, onions, and potatoes. Around it were a plate of persimmons, a bowl of plain white rice, and a cup of tea.

"What meat is this?"

"Hmm...I don't quite remember," Ran responded. "Young adult male is what we usually have. 20-30 years old."

How age affected flavor, he had no idea. He'd have to ask later. For now, he turned his attention to the beverage. It was wholly uninspiring, with a dull brown color and a barely-noticeable scent. Certainly inferior to the distinctive character of the tea he had the previous night.

The kitsune noticed his gaze. "We ran out," she said simply. "Mistress Yukari has plans to move the producers to Gensokyo, but there are obvious...complications to obtaining consent. For now we can only receive a new shipment every month or so."

"I see." He couldn't complain; premium lapsang souchong was a delicacy, not the norm.

"By the way," Ran noted, "classical physics isn't relevant to you. You find it simple, don't you?"

He thought to himself for a bit. "It's mathematics and common sense. I respect Newton's genius, but...given the knowledge we have now, it's hard not to look down on older breakthroughs, even if they were more important."

"Then why not quantum physics?" Ran smiled. "It's the theory of today, and I find it fascinating, myself."

"There aren't any books on quantum physics here."

Ran quirked her eyebrow. "Is that so?" After rummaging through the pile of nonfiction, she held up a very worn leather hardcover. "This is the biography of one of Mistress Yukari's favorite historical figures. The intellectual of Copenhagen."

The cover read _The Life and Lies of Niels Bohr_.

"Don't tell her I told you, but..." The shikigami smirked. "If you happened to name yourself after him, she would be very happy. You would have liked him; he was a virtuous man."

"And you're telling me this because...?"

"I'm a kitsune, sir. Meddling is my calling." Ran bowed. "Until later."

* * *

He didn't know what his expectations of Niels Bohr were, but the man definitely exceeded them.

"In less than eighty years of life," the author stated in the introduction, "the physicist helped establish the foundations of quantum mechanics...His idea of complementarity, a general theory that encompassed Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, directly suggested that the universe thrived on the unknown."

The intertwining of duality and chance. The man found such a notion poetic, in a strange way that he could not describe.

Yet as he read on, he found that Bohr's legacy consisted of even more. The first modern model of the atom. The Manhattan Project. The Institute of Theoretical Physics. All these and more owed their existence to Bohr.

Perhaps most impressive were his less tangible contributions. He either mentored or influenced virtually every other physicist of his time, some of which saw him as a father figure of sorts. During Nazi rule, he actively provided for refugees, granting them jobs at his Institute and preparing them for positions at universities worldwide. And later on, he strove for openness and collaboration concerning nuclear technology, even directly writing to the United Nations. Finally, he backed the creation of CERN, yet chose Geneva over his beloved Institute as the ideal location.

A scientist who dealt with the abstract, understood the practical, had unparalleled personal drive, yet exhibited remarkable selflessness.

For the first time, the man grasped the power of human transience.

* * *

Yukari sat at the dinner table, lazily twirling her chopsticks in her hand.

Across from her, a worried Ran glanced back and forth between the bored-looking Chen to her right and Yukari's study at the end of the hallway. "Is he going to come? Chen was looking forward to meeting him."

"You made him sound all mysterious and exciting too," Chen mumbled. "And you still haven't told me why you didn't want me in the house yesterday."

"You were the one who called him just five minutes ago," Yukari countered while dodging the pointed inquiry. "Perhaps he is merely getting ready."

As if on cue, the door swung open, and the man stepped out.

"Sorry," he apologized. "My tie was a little crooked."

Chen's eyes widened. "You didn't tell me he had _wings!_ "

"So we did not," Yukari admitted. At the time, she didn't deem it necessary.

"What's your name?"

Both Yukari and Ran froze at Chen's question.

" _Chen_ ," Ran hissed. "I told you _not_ to ask that question!"

Chen scratched her head, then paled. "...Oh."

"It's quite alright." The man straightened up, smiling warmly at Chen. Or tried to. He hadn't improved much.

"The name's Niels..." He paused. "Niels Yakumo."

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 **This chapter was drier than beef jerky in the Atacama.**

 **Am I the only one that has a much easier time connecting with people that actually existed? I can't bring myself to look up to the likes of Harry Potter or Sherlock Holmes, but my math teacher's uncanny ability to balance humor and leniency with teaching the rigorous course material made him one of my role models.**

 **In case the title didn't tip you off, _The Life and Lies of Niels Bohr_ is not a real book.**

 **It is interesting to compare complementarity and Yin/Yang. One rooted in science and truth, the other in mysticism.**

 **Did I mention just _how much_ I like Bohr? **

**Yes, I had to put that Bond reference at the end.**

 **Oh, don't forget to review and all that jazz. If you don't, I'll...shit, you know what, do whatever.**


	3. Chapter 1

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far! I enjoyed your comments, praise and criticism alike.**

 **Yeah, so I'm still in China, but luckily there's plenty of places with free WiFi (though getting US devices connected is a pain in the ass). As a result, I've had just under an hour a day to write undisturbed. Unfortunately, I'm a slow writer, so this chapter was still quite rushed. Sorry if it's hot garbage; I did what I could. I will make additional revisions if needed.**

 **I've added slightly more levity to my writing style, since it is currently as lively as plywood. Took some inspiration from FREAKIN GENSOKYO by SKOOLATOON (thanks for the review, by the way!); I mention this because there's no possible way you could tell otherwise. Let me know what you think.**

 **Most OC stories have Reimu and Marisa as the first Gensokyans encountered. Well, this isn't your typical OC, and this isn't your typical OC story, so I decided, fuck it, how about Eiki instead.**

 **From what I understand, "Yamaxanadu" is Eiki Shiki's occupation and title, not surname. Also, in this story, the name "Hakugyokurou" will refer only to the central shrine, and I will explicitly refer to the surrounding expanse of cherry blossoms as the "gardens of Hakugyokurou." There's also the Zen garden directly in front of Hakugyokurou; it's also a distinct location.**

 **Went for an interesting take on Eiki, based on the fact that she's canonically not the stone-cold 100% impartial judge most people see her as. I'm not even sure if I like my interpretation better. All for the sake of a semi-believable premise!**

 **Taking a short break from writing soon because summer camps and jet lag. Some days I'll probably shit out 100-200 words during the lunch break on my phone. Or something.**

* * *

Chapter 1

A Letter

Becoming a shikigami had many perks, Ran had to admit.

Becoming Yukari's shikigami probably had even more.

It also had more downsides.

One of which was the weekly checkup on the Barrier.

Facing the front door, Ran steeled herself. She always dreaded this task, and for good reason. In order not to unsettle the wild youkai on the outskirts, she had to perform her duty after all of them fell asleep and before any of them woke up. Thus Yukari decreed that she had to start about two hours before sunrise and finish just as daylight came.

Awkward timetable aside, two hours was practically nothing when taking Gensokyo's sheer size into account. At first, she took upwards of seven hours to survey the entire border and fix any minor anomalies that had popped up naturally; the larger injuries, usually deliberate, she could leave to her master. Even then, Yukari had found plenty of mistakes to correct. Fortunately, the latter became almost instinctual with practice, and she could usually return home within an hour and a half. Without sufficient rest, though, completing her chore still required the full time. Either way, the ordeal was taxing.

Most infuriatingly, she was almost certain that Yukari didn't need her for this responsibility. Yukari's control over the Barrier went far beyond what a normal person would call "control." In some ways, she _was_ the Great Hakurei Barrier; she took every blow it took, felt every disturbance it felt, gave it every ounce of energy she could spare (and more). If Yukari wanted to, Ran surmised, she could probably scan the entire Barrier _and_ fix it up in less time than Ran would take just to fly around Gensokyo—all without stepping out of house. Or perhaps even out of her study.

But there was that word again. _If_ _._ If Yukari wanted something, she would have it. If she needed to do something, it was, for all intents and purposes, already done. _If_ _._

Shaking her head, Ran cleared her mind of such useless ruminations. Fatigue and circadian rhythm be damned, she had orders to obey.

Turning around, she looked in the direction of the most luxurious room in the house. No doubt Yukari had already fallen asleep, but just in case...

"Mistress Yukari," she called out into the darkness, "I'm heading out."

No reply. Good. Without another word, she opened the door and flew away.

* * *

"Hmm..."

Ran looked at the twisted pocket of space in front of her, blurring and, well, _twisting_ everything seen through it.

Harmless, but she'd only ever seen one other such abnormality on the edge of the Forest of Magic. Normally the ambient energy would patch such trivial defects up by itself.

Her sixth sense—among many—as a shikigami told her that there was nothing special about this particular blemish. Just a simple distortion, a small one at that.

Which only piqued her curiosity further. How could it have formed?

"Oh, you're finally here."

Ran whipped her head around, fully alert. "Who are you—"

She sighed when she saw a familiar redhead holding a scythe walk out of the woods...and almost instantly appear by her side.

Said figure greeted her with a friendly wave. "Hey. Pretty damn chilly out here, huh?"

"It is the middle of winter. And hello, shinigami," Ran replied as stoically as possible. In her mind, she cursed herself for her poor memory. The only other time she'd found the Barrier warped around here was when the Yama had a message to deliver.

And guess who did the delivering?

"C'mon, Ran!" the shinigami grinned. "Just call me Komachi, okay?"

"I don't think I know you _quite_ that well yet."

"Well, it's what everyone else calls me. Besides, weren't you the one I gave the message to last time too?" Her smile never wavered. "I'd think that's enough, right?"

"Fine...Komachi." The kitsune held out her hand. "The letter, then, if you would. I have a border to maintain."

"Uh...sure, hold on." After inexplicably fumbling with the pockets of her dress, Komachi produced a single beige envelope. Curiously, an _unsealed_ envelope.

Noticing Ran's suspicious stare, she shrugged. "We don't need a seal, we don't put a seal."

"Or rather, 'I don't need to read it, but I read it anyway'?" Ran asked coolly.

Komachi winced. "...Shit, you got me. But hey, Eiki wouldn't tell me anything about it other than 'give this to Yakumo immediately'"—Ran noted dryly that the shinigami's imitation of her superior's voice was less than flattering—"so I had to see what she was so fussed about. Believe me, she was hysterical."

"Oh, I believe it," Ran lied. She knew hyperbole when she heard it. "Is that all?"

"For you, yeah," Komachi grumbled. "I still have six more letters with me."

Ran quirked her eyebrow. "What for?"

"Eiki's lectures."

"...You're joking."

Komachi grinned. "Well, it's easier than showing up in person, right? And it works just as well, considering no one wants to listen to her either way."

"I see." Ran really didn't. "I'll be off, then."

"Yeah, me too. See you." With a single step, Komachi vanished.

* * *

To Miss Yukari Yakumo:

It has come to the attention of the Ministry of Right and Wrong that you have created a weapon the likes of which we have never seen before. Furthermore, we have also learned that this possession of yours has become a sentient tsukumogami under your command. We have classified your actions as Level 7, the highest possible threat level for acts with unclear intent or consequences, and thus you are required to meet with one of our representatives on neutral ground.

You will meet the Yamaxanadu Eiki Shiki in the Netherworld on the morning of Thursday, December 24. Bring only the tsukumogami and no one else.

Failure to comply will be punished accordingly.

Sincerely,

The Ministry of Right and Wrong

* * *

 _How annoying_ , Yukari thought to herself.

Truth be told, even before Ran handed her Komachi's missive at lunch, she had a sneaking suspicion that the Ministry would react...negatively to her project. To put it lightly. Even so, Level 7 was pushing it. The last time they handed out such an extreme ruling was over half a century ago, when the aggression that led to the Cuban Missile Crisis warranted a Level 8, the highest ever. _That_ ruling was reasonable; nuclear war could have spelt the end of civilization, perhaps intelligent life in the Outside World. Even in Gensokyo, only a handful of individuals could handle either a direct blast or the resulting radiation, and even fewer could survive both. Furthermore, both the U.S. and the Communists recognized the potential for mutual annihilation and pushed each other anyway. Yes, she thought, Level 8 worthy indeed.

 _This_ one, though...

"Tsk." The Ministry severely overestimated Niels's capabilities. Theoretically, with infinite energy, a body that could handle it, and millennia of experience under his belt, yes, he could bend reality to his will. But spoiler alert: he lacked all three.

Fittingly, he reminded Yukari of herself: technically omnipotent, but restrained by physical limitations. And while the Book had the ability to manipulate them (along with any other absolutes), doing so required Niels to exceed them first. Which he couldn't. Not now, and not ever.

 _Besides, I have no reason to use him as a doomsday weapon._ Not that the Ministry would believe her if she said so.

Really, she found the Ministry's paranoia quite childish. Or maybe they only feared her. She'd understand the latter.

At least they had the courtesy to send someone she knew well...too well, perhaps.

The two of them were allies, she supposed, and contrary to popular belief, they did get along decently—as decently as those of their status could, at any rate—but Yukari tended to avoid the judge all the same. Eiki Shiki, thanks to her occupation, experience, and surprising cleverness, had an uncanny ability to see through Yukari's lies, whether subtle half-truths or elaborate fabrications. For a mastermind like Yukari, facing such an adversary was pure suffering. Rarely did she find herself _compelled_ to divulge information of any kind; not even Satori could read Yukari's thoughts, but hiding the truth from Eiki was a hopeless endeavor.

Whatever. She had nothing to hide.

At least she wouldn't miss Remilia's Christmas Eve party.

* * *

Niels stared out at the landscape before him.

"Your thoughts?" Yukari asked.

"I didn't associate the afterlife with beauty and flowers."

 _It's too early in the morning for this_ , he grumbled mentally.

Granted, Yukari had notified him of the occasion days in advance, but not much could have prepared him for her teleporting the two of them directly into the Netherworld as soon as he'd finished the last bite of tamagoyaki on his plate. The sensation of food traveling down his esophagus while falling through a gap was—

Actually, fuck, we're not talking about that.

Put it this way: it was novel.

Yukari giggled. "Oh~? Do cherry blossoms not evoke images of death and suffering?"

"Usually, no. Not to my knowledge." Niels idly flipped the Book open, observing the movement of the petals in the morning breeze. Of course, everyone else would have seen an incomprehensible mess on the page—Yukari included.

"Tsk." How dull. Not the conversation partner she'd hoped for, but he'd improve his social skills given time. She pointed behind him, toward a large shrine in the distance. "That is our destination. Shall we?"

A short flight later, and the pair landed within the walls of the Zen garden of Hakugyokurou, where a short, white-haired woman stood alert in front of them. Spotless dark green dress, black hair ribbon, formal shoes similar to his own...all perfectly ordinary.

The short sword attached to her waist, not so much.

The katana on her back, even less so.

The translucent, formless mass lazily circling her...

Niels briefly wondered if someone had spiked his morning tea.

"Good morning, Lady Yukari." She bowed. "The Yama is waiting for you in the living room."

"Thank you, Youmu."

Ah, well. Best not to think too hard about such matters. He could simply ask later.

"And you are...?"

Wh—Oh. She wanted his name. "Niels Yakumo." Remembering basic etiquette, he added, "Pleased to meet you."

The woman (who really looked more like a teenage girl) nodded. "Youmu Konpaku, gardener of Hakugyokurou. And this"—she indicated the white...whatever—"is my phantom half, Myon."

 _Interesting_ , Niels thought. So she was a half-phantom with two distinct bodies. Speaking of which, Myon was floating toward him at a rather leisurely pace before stopping just in front of his face. Then it rushed at him.

Niels nearly fell over. _Christ_ that thing was cold!

Blushing furiously, Youmu squeaked, " _Myon!_ You can't do that to guests!"

The phantom, now at her side once again, dipped its head apologetically. Presumably. One could never tell with colorless blobs that lacked any recognizable features.

Yukari had somehow managed to stay mostly silent other than a few amused noises. "Well then. Let's head inside before Yuyuko frustrates Eiki too much."

* * *

Yuyuko tilted her head. "Are you sure you don't want any?"

"For the umpteenth time," Eiki replied, a hint of annoyance finally leaking into her voice, "No."

"Okay!" Reaching toward the platter of plain biscuits on the coffee table, the pink menace claimed another three victims. "Do you want any?"

"You asked that question not three lines ago."

Yuyuko stopped. "Oh." Not sure what to do, she decided to snack on more crackers. "How about now?"

The judge sighed. "Unfortunately, now the plate is empty."

"But I'm still _hungry~!_ "

"That, I do not doubt." She leaned back, sinking into the plush cushions of the sofa. "I should not have arrived so early."

"Why?" Yuyuko's voice had a genuinely curious tone to it. "Talking to you was fun."

Before Eiki could properly demonstrate her exasperation, the ghost perked up. "Oh, they're here!"

Sure enough, through the sliding door came Youmu and the two individuals she'd been waiting for.

"Yukari~!" As if on cue, the ghost flew forward and captured her friend in what would have been a bone-crushing hug...if it didn't come from someone with the physical strength and feel of a pillow.

"It's nice to see you too." Yukari turned her head toward the Yama. Working one arm free from Yuyuko's embrace, she gestured to her companion. "This is Niels."

Eiki quirked her eyebrow. "Intriguing name."

"I named myself after Bohr," Niels explained, impressively indifferent to the spectacle not even three feet away from him.

"You named yourself?—Ah, you are the tsukumogami." Eiki stood. "Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu. Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise." _I didn't expect her to be so short. But then again_ , Niels mused as he shook her hand, _I was created to be tall._

Unbeknownst to him, the others in the room viewed him with significant interest. A height of over six feet. A pair of large, jet-black wings. Attire the likes of which no native Gensokyan had ever worn.

And he was _male._

After the usual greetings, Yuyuko and Youmu headed for the kitchen, both to leave the three now seated individuals alone and to satisfy Yuyuko's incessant cries for food.

"You seem apprehensive. Do not worry, I will not take too much of your time; you are not the one I must speak to." She pointedly glared at Yukari. "I simply need to perform a few tests that require your willing cooperation."

Reaching into her pocket, Eiki held up a small red cube, just able to fit in her palm. _A ruby, I believe._

"First, move this crystal from my hand to yours."

Niels furrowed his brow. Opening the Book, he sent the crystal across the page into another section of space just above his right hand. Without looking up, he caught it as it fell. "Will that do?"

She nodded. "Next, change its color to blue."

"Uh...sure." He hadn't practiced manipulating an intrinsic quality before, but with such a simple object the procedure came to him naturally. One could liken his experience to using an iPad for the first time: intuitive, with a sense of power and control beneath the surface that he didn't quite grasp yet. Slowly yet surely, from the inside out, the ruby's color shifted from a deep crimson to a light cerulean.

Overall, not a difficult endeavor, but a surprisingly tiring one; he found himself short of breath more than once, the result of exerting much more energy than he did before. "I should probably mention that more complicated requests of this kind will...almost certainly be impossible."

"I noticed." As Eiki spoke, the cube reverted back to its original red hue. She held out a wooden plank. "Then let us try something a little different. Shape the ruby into a knife that can cut this board in half."

 _Interesting_ , Niels thought. An exciting challenge indeed.

Time to have some fun.

Visualizing what the completed implement would look like, he first adjusted the dimensions of the cube, transforming it into a longer, thinner prism. Then, he painstakingly flattened it starting from one end until two-thirds of it tapered to a point.

Honestly, even this crude blade could probably already function well enough. In addition, the effort of making it exhausted him; evidently the complexity of the task directly correlated with how much it taxed him, as the previous test showed.

But why not push himself a little more?

 _I wonder if she'll approve of a carving of Hell on the hilt._

* * *

"I've seen enough," Eiki muttered, snatching his craft away. A quick flourish later, and one piece became two halves.

A pity, Niels thought. He'd just begun work on Cerberus's fangs.

"You're free to go," she added. "Perhaps you should join Youmu and Yuyuko. Or explore the gardens."

"May I stay?"

Unexpectedly, it was Yukari who answered. "Preferably not. This discussion concerns only the two of us."

"...Alright." He rose and headed out, stares from two pairs of eyes drilling into his back. "I'll take a stroll, then..."

As soon as Niels was out of earshot, Yukari turned to Eiki. "Your thoughts?"

"Same conclusion as you, I assume. By himself, he is not the threat we feared."

"'We'?"

"The Ministry, that is," Eiki clarified. "Which I am still employed by, even if I do not agree with its views. Such as in this case."

"Point taken."

"The issue is, the Ministry already knows that Niels cannot freely overwrite reality."

Yukari quirked her eyebrow. "So why are they still afraid of him?"

Eiki chuckled. "They aren't. They're afraid of what _you_ can do with him."

Silence.

Yukari groaned. "So they're still terrified of me? What did I ever do to antagonize them in the first place?"

"They have the irrational fear that you seek to compromise their position as absolute authorities in the afterlife."

"... _What_."

The Yama shrugged.

"Why would I even attempt to—"

"I did say it was an irrational fear."

Yukari sighed. "Lack of motive aside, with Niels, perhaps I _could_ do such a thing, but it would literally tire me to death. Him as well. And most likely the rest of Gensokyo."

"Considering the strain he showed during tests as simple as mine, I believe you." Eiki held the knife up, examining it in detail. "No doubt he will become more powerful and more familiar with his abilities, but the amount of energy to move the ruby, change the its color, or shape it into a blade will always remain the same. And similarly, the amount of energy to fundamentally change the cycle of life and death will always prevent such a course of action from becoming feasible."

"'Fundamentally change the cycle of life and death'?" Yukari scoffed. "Ousting your Ministry and its damned bureaucracy would hardly—"

"Watch your tongue, Yukari Yakumo," Eiki interrupted sharply. "Save your opinion of our system for another time. Perhaps after a few more centuries, since currently it is clearly more than sufficient."

"Mainly due to the competence of the Yama. The rest of your 'system' is convoluted and nigh-anachronistic."

"The flattery is appreciated, but let us abandon this line of discussion." With a snap of Eiki's fingers, the ruby and board dissolved into thin air. "Even if I can convince the Ministry that Niels does not pose a threat to them, they will definitely counter by noting that you could use him on others. Such as the Lunarians, or your enemies on other continents. And this possibility, I would say, is very real." Her gaze softened. "I know that you know better. But they will still have doubts."

Yukari gritted her teeth. "So what will they do? Take him away? Seal him? Put him down?"

"If given the opportunity, they might. But here is what I propose." Eiki folded her hands. "Essentially, we worry that Niels's purpose is simply to be your tool, to be used as you see fit. Therefore, if you can show that Niels is an individual in his own right, capable of understanding ethics, reason, emotion, and the like, then we can only conclude that he is an ally. In other words, if you can successfully integrate him into Gensokyan society, then our concerns would appear rather foolish. In fact, it would then be clear that we were wrong about your motives for creating Niels, for exposing him to more outside influence would be counterproductive if he was to obey your every command." The judge hid her ever so slightly devious smile behind her Rod of Remorse. "Why, you could even label it a social experiment. The development of an artificial life form."

Yukari pondered these words.

"Easier said than done, of course."

"Well..." Eiki coughed. "It was merely a suggestion. To be perfectly honest, I believe you are facing an impossible challenge."

The Great Youkai Sage, She Who Walked Boundaries, smirked.

"Haven't you learned not to use that word with me?"

* * *

 **So many plot ideas...but so much exposition to get out of the way first. FML. Brought it upon myself, I suppose.**

 **R &R.**


	4. Chapter 2

**Salutations to all of my readers. All three of them.**

 **Another slow chapter, unsurprisingly. I am not someone who writes fast plots.**

 **We meet some key characters in this chapter, and at the end I establish where this story is headed, which should help me maintain focus and direction.**

 **But in the meantime, more filler and wordy, meaningless prose.**

 **Also, just a heads up, I may change my pen name soon; frankly, "This Day And Age" takes up too many characters and sounds generic beyond belief. I would prefer something unique. Something more...sophisticated.**

 **After all, what _isn't_ in a name?**

 **Enjoy.**

 **-This Day And Age**

* * *

Chapter 2

No Way Out Now

 _"Preferably not. This discussion concerns only the two of us."_

 _"...Alright." Niels's neutral expression masked his puzzlement. The whole purpose of the meeting concerned him, didn't it? He had half a mind to ask what they were planning to do in his absence, but...he trusted Yukari. As much as anyone reasonably could, at any rate. "I'll take a stroll, then..."_

* * *

Truth be told, Niels only knew what a "stroll" was through the stories he read. The concept mystified him; how could wandering around provide enjoyment?

Now, a few minutes later, he could see the appeal of such leisurely activity in the afternoon or evening. Or, in this case, morning. Besides reading, he hadn't picked up many pastimes yet, but adding a regular walk to his routine? A nice idea, for sure.

Of course, part of the pleasure he derived from his surroundings. To his eye, the gardens of Hakugyokurou were immaculate, with seemingly every sakura, every inch of the stone walkways in pristine condition. Clearly that half-phantom cared very deeply about her duty; the pristine grounds were almost a work of art.

"I didn't expect to see you out here."

He turned around to see said samurai, who he wryly noted had fully recovered from her earlier embarrassment. "Good day, Lady Youmu."

Youmu shook her head. "I am a servant, Niels. Call me Youmu." She cleared her throat. "Shouldn't you be inside?"

"Lady Yukari insisted I come outside." He looked back in the direction of the main building, barely visible in the distance through the cherry blossoms. "However, she did not give a reason."

She pondered his words. "...Strange. But that's how she is."

The two stood in awkward silence.

"So why did you come out here, Niels?"

He shrugged. "To walk. It seemed interesting. And you?"

"I need to prune one of the trees nearby."

Pause.

"But this is the Netherworld."

"Yes?"

"And these trees still grow?"

An erratically hovering Myon traced out a large "YES" shape, much to his chagrin. Youmu laughed. "We're not really frozen in time here. We have years; in fact, we even have seasons. What isn't dead here will still age. Otherwise, we'd have more living visitors..." She grimaced. "And probably tenants, too."

Well. That explanation made sense. "Shall I accompany you, then? I have nothing else to do."

"Uh..." Youmu fidgeted. "Alright."

A short while later, the two arrived at one of the taller trees in the area.

"Why would you need to trim a mature specimen? Surely diseases do not find their way here."

"Some do. But you're right. There are other reasons. Some branches die off early, and it's best to eliminate them as soon as possible. Here, though..." She pointed at a vertical offshoot. "Lady Yuyuko wants branches that grow outward because they look prettier and have more buds. So I have to cut off branches that grow upward, like this one."

"Why not keep them?"

"Because then the tree would be splitting resources between them. If branches like this become too tall I'd have to remove them anyway, so there's no point."

He nodded thoughtfully. "A sacrifice of one to let another flourish. Yes, I think I see."

"I'm...glad?" She drew her short sword out of its sheath. Noticing Niels's quizzical expression, she stiffened. "H-Hey! We don't have clippers down here, so—"

"This is...Hakurouken, is it not?"

Youmu stared. "Where could _you_ possibly have heard that name?"

"I may be only a few days old, but my mind is not empty," Niels retorted, miffed. What he lacked in lifetime experiences he somewhat made up for in words read. "It is a legendary blade, one that 'slices through confusion', as the Chronicles state." He bowed. "I am sorry for distressing you. I did not doubt your pruning methods, for I am no expert on the subject."

"Oh! Well." She shifted uncomfortably. "My bad." Leveling her sword, she pointed it at her target, and—

Niels shielded himself from the gust of wind created by Youmu's sudden lunge forward. In virtually an instant, she'd sliced the branch cleanly right at the base, calmly watching it fall to the ground from her original location. He hadn't even seen her move.

Exceptional finesse with the agility to back it up. Impressive. He hoped he could attain that level of skill one day...not at pruning trees, of course, but actual combat.

After less than a minute, Youmu had already finished. "And that's that."

"Superb performance."

"T-thank you..."

Niels blinked. "Lady Youmu, are you shivering? You seem distressed."

"Oh, not at all," Youmu quickly assured him, though hardly with cheer. He couldn't fathom why...unless...

"Are you...afraid of me?"

Her silence was proof enough, and both of them knew it.

"W-well, Lady Yuyuko said you were a _weapon_. Not just someone with fighting ability, but a tsukumogami _artificially made_ by Yukari. That's rather terrifying, isn't it?"

"Indeed," Niels conceded. "But that is not all, is it?"

Before an incredulous Youmu could reply, he added, "Come, now. I am not such an evil or scary creature."

Youmu hung her head. "...You _look_ scary."

"You're..." Without warning, Niels snickered. "You're afraid of me because I'm _tall_ _?_ "

"Well—so what if I am!?" She protested vehemently, blushing furiously. "And you look...uh, serious and suspicious! And you're male!"

"This is a _tuxedo_."

"Which no one here wears!" she countered shrilly.

"Besides, suspicious and tall?" He thought to himself and, conveniently, out loud as well. "I'm hardly the only person to fit that description. Why, Yukari must haunt you in your sleep."

 **"Oh, _silly Niels_ ,"** a positively chilling voice whispered into his ears, **"I haunt _everyone's_ sleep."**

" _What the—!_ " An alarmed Niels whipped his head around. "Lady Yukari! Wh—That was uncalled for!"

The ever-scheming mistress giggled. "So is teasing Youmu. But I do agree that such an activity is rewarding." She winked at the mortified half-phantom, who had resorted to hiding behind Myon for now. "It's time to head home. Say goodbye, won't you?"

"Someone is in good spirits."

Yukari laughed a most foreboding laugh. "Oh, child. There is so much to do."

* * *

"...And so, with my help, she drafted the Spell Card Rules, which govern virtually every battle now. It's an excellent system, if I do say so myself. Fair, nonlethal, popular. What more could you ask for?"

"It does seem an elegant form of combat, if a little intimidating to the typical novice."

Yukari turned her eyes to Niels. "You included?"

"Me included," he admitted.

Sitting on the front porch, legs dangling, the two of them made an odd pair. Of course, given the remoteness of the Yakumo home, no one would see them. From these heights, Niels could see the landscape for miles.

Hard to imagine that such a paradise—or anywhere, really—could have such an odd method of settling disputes.

"You know," Yukari commented, "your ability to interact with others is improving. Just then, you managed to start a conversation and maintain it well."

"She had no desire to speak with me. And if I must be honest, I had no desire to speak to her."

"Mm." She seemed uninterested in this detail. "Regardless, you did what I asked. More practice makes for more improvement. Eventually you'll be the most convivial male youkai in Gensokyo."

Niels scowled. "There is not much competition for that title. Eventually I may become sociable at will, but 'convivial'? A bit of a stretch."

"And becoming sociable requires learning how to duel. You know this as well as I do." Her tone had dropped all levity. "It's a centerpiece of Gensokyan society. Some would say _the_ centerpiece. Unless you intend to abandon every conflict you find yourself in—which would be rather inconvenient."

He sighed. Yukari's effortlessly pushing him around in casual dialogue did not do wonders for his pride. "I...I'll think about it." His statement already admitted defeat, but some time would help.

"You've already done all the thinking you need." Her cheshire grin unnerved him. "We will depart in five minutes."

Damn.

Within a quarter of an hour, the two had landed at the base of a long flight of stone steps. Unlike in the Netherworld, its ruggedness suggested lack of upkeep rather than special charm. He noted that many had walked here before, but few did recently. Behind him was a dirt trail leading deep into the Forest of Magic.

"The Human Village is just down that way." Yukari looked up, and Niels followed her gaze to see a large, dilapidated torii gate at the top of the stairs. "But we are headed to the Hakurei Shrine. I have already explained to you its significance."

Niels nodded. "Residence of the shrine maiden Reimu Hakurei, youkai exterminator, incident resolver, and vessel of the Great Hakurei Barrier."

"Not quite a vessel. But yes." Her smile became lighthearted. "She has a somewhat prickly personality, but is really rather nice. Much more so than the average human is—toward youkai, at least."

As the two climbed the last step, Niels took in his surroundings.

His knowledge of Japanese religious buildings was hardly comprehensive, but what he found in front of him appeared...unusual.

Unusually shabby, that is.

The cherry blossoms here, though quite beautiful, had clearly not been given the same level of care as the ones in the gardens of Hakugyokurou. They grew wildly and unchecked—perhaps because they _were_ wild. Weeds peeked through the cracks in the uneven stone path, indicating that nature had already begun to reclaim its territory. The lack of any sounds other than the breeze further contributed to the sense of desolation.

Then he stopped as Yukari did the same, just in front of their destination.

If he had to pick one word with non-negative connotations to describe the Hakurei Shrine, it would be..."old-fashioned." The traditional three-wing (if one included the shed and storage) layout drew attention to the central hall of worship; though knowing what Yukari had told him, Reimu had likely converted it into a gathering room or living space. The structures themselves conveyed a sense of loneliness and suffering—not poetically, but rather by their physical condition. The worn wooden beams could not possibly provide adequate support for the flimsy-looking walls, yet somehow did, as if by sheer force of will, they held. From them hung long paper streamers ( _shide_ ), and even these seemed worse for wear. Placed at the entrance to the shrine interior was a small crate. Niels peered inside.

Empty.

How depressing.

"Would you like to donate?" Yukari handed him a small pouch of coins. "Make a prayer, too."

After careful contemplation, Niels closed his eyes. Then he tossed the money into the box, producing a sound louder than he would have liked.

"What the hell?" he heard a girl murmur. "Who could that be?"

Before Niels could react, the door slid open, leaving him face to face—well, he had to look down and she had to look up—with the Hakurei shrine maiden herself.

Reimu frowned. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"I..." It was then that he noticed his master's conspicuous absence. "I am Niels Yakumo."

Within a split second she drew her gohei and pointed it at him. "Your last name is _Yakumo_?"

"And a fine Yakumo he is, too."

" _Holy sh_ —oh." She facepalmed as Yukari appeared behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Could you enter like a _normal_ person!?"

"I'll consider it," Yukari replied, the playful lilt in her voice indicating that she would do nothing of the sort. "You should thank him for his generosity, hm? It's rare to receive any these days."

"Don't remind me," Reimu grumbled. "But thank you, Niels. Want to come in?"

For an otherwise rickety establishment, the Hakurei Shrine had several fairly useful modern conveniences. Most noticeably, a small portable gas stove sat on the table, boiling a kettle of water.

Once the three of them were properly seated, Reimu addressed the bane of her existence. "Alright, just _what_ have you been up to?"

Yukari told her, embellishing details here and there...

"He's a _what_ _?_ " the shrine maiden shrieked as Niels spluttered incredulously. "You—you _made_ a tsukumogami? As your _lover?_ "

"Well, he does obey my every word. Isn't that so, Niels?"

"I—"

"Why," Yukari interrupted, "That book of his really is quite the useful tool. Perhaps, on a whim, I could even have you join in willingly. Wouldn't that be fun?"

...and savoring Reimu's horror.

As usual.

"Really, Lady Yukari, you went a little far," a red-faced Niels muttered. The fact that he actually did identify as her son (of sorts) did not help matters.

"A little, you say." Reimu sighed. "I wish you hadn't skipped your hibernation."

Yukari chuckled. "Apologies to both of you. Unfortunately, Niels's awakening forced me to stay awake. I shall have an extended rest next year, I suppose."

"That, I can understand. But why did you bring him _here?_ "

"He is barely a week old. It makes sense to give him a tour of the more important locations, no?"

Reimu considered this point. "...I guess. But is that it?"

Niels and Yukari looked at each other, as if they were conversing without sound. Smirking, Yukari turned back to Reimu. "No. You see, he needs to be able to defend himself as well; otherwise, he couldn't possibly lead a proper life in Gensokyo."

"You mean..."

"I would like you to teach him the art of danmaku."

A moment of silence.

"I'm...busy," a conflicted Reimu responded. "Between incidents and training with Kasen, I've got too much to do. Plus, couldn't _you_ handle it?"

"Perhaps. But like you, I am...what was the word? Ah, _busy_ _._ So it really _would_ be more convenient for an esteemed danmaku expert such as yourself to train him."

Shaking her head, Reimu insisted, "Sorry. I'm sure you could find someone else."

"Do reconsider." Yukari's sharp tone surprised Niels. In his mind, asking someone for a favor should not warrant such rudeness.

Evidently said person had also been caught off guard. "I—sorry. I really can't."

Reimu and Yukari locked eyes, the latter seemingly daring the former to repeat what she just said. Suddenly, Yukari rose. "Very well. Thank you for your time."

Niels started. "What—"

But Yukari had already stepped outside. "Follow me, Niels. We're leaving."

* * *

An (admittedly short) orderly, sheltered, controlled life mostly spent indoors did not prepare him for the bizarre, untamed, feral, overgrown Forest of Magic. It pained him to use those words so improperly, but sometimes one did have to sacrifice accuracy for the proper connotation.

He'd heard that some mushroom species were edible—seen pictures of them, even. Well, most of them didn't _glow_. Or dwarf his hand. Or smell like dead fish, among other odors. Or cause lightheadedness.

You get the idea.

At least the trees looked normal, if the poisonous spores permeating the air didn't interfere with one's vision yet. Then again, for a person unlucky enough to walk into a toxic cloud, crystal clear vision might be the least of his worries. Luckily, as long as he stayed on the footpath, he'd be fine, at least according to the moss-covered, creaky wooden signs he saw on his left every thirty meters or so.

Niels glanced at his master, unsure what to say. He had literally no idea why their visit ended how it did. Why did they leave? Weren't Reimu and Yukari allies? Who antagonized who?

Eventually, he could no longer stay silent. "Lady Yukari?"

"Speak." Of course, she already knew what he would ask.

"Is there a reason you seemed so...hostile toward Lady Reimu?"

"Certainly."

Yukari rarely allowed her anger to affect her outwardly, so this lapse...definitely indicated some tensions under the surface. "And what would that reason be?"

"She is a lazy liar. And a terrible one at that!"

Shocked at this outburst, Niels simply stood dumbly for a couple of seconds. Eventually, he regained his senses. "W-wait, _what_ are you implying?"

"I have told you before, any work she does not deem totally necessary she avoids. Do you remember why she refused to teach you?"

"She...mentioned incidents and training with someone named Kasen." He furrowed his brow. "So?"

"The last incident was in the autumn. And Kasen Ibaraki has only visited her once in the past month." Yukari frowned as the gravity of her words dawned on Niels. "Still, I can understand. I suspect she feels that, for her importance to Gensokyo, she is inadequately compensated."

"Which you cannot deny?"

"Which I cannot deny," she affirmed. "And so, she thinks, if she does not even receive her due for what she must do..."

"Then why should she do any more?" Niels finished.

His master nodded. "But even so, one must _always_ tend to duty."

"Then why not compensate her yourself?" He suggested. "Given such an incentive, surely she will work willingly."

Yukari shook her head. "The real world is hardly so simple. If I follow this idea of yours at this moment, then she will quickly become accustomed to monetary reward from me. And not only from me, but from everyone else as well. Such greed does not befit the noble line of Hakurei. I will not support Reimu while she remains so materialistic."

"But do you have any ideas to reform her?"

"No."

Niels stared. "But this state of affairs—"

"Is sad indeed. Do not worry, Niels. It is my concern, not yours." Yukari's unspoken message was also clear: _This conversation is over._

With nothing else to discuss, the two walked in silence, one deeply troubled, the other less so. And thus, the tsukumogami resumed his...appreciation...of the foilage.

Then, a few minutes later, he realized...

"Where are we going?"

"About time you asked." Yukari laughed, her mood markedly different from earlier. "We are visiting someone completely unlike Reimu. An individual with ambition and strength of will, and without a care in the world. She is, perhaps, the most human human in Gensokyo."

"Is she—"

"Yes, she will be your tutor," Yukari confirmed. "My, you are perceptive."

"Her name?"

"Ah! We're here."

Indeed, they had found their way to a clearing, where unpaved dirt gave way to flat stone slabs, eventually leading to a modest Western-style cottage. Niels noted with distaste that the owner of this property did not take care of her lawn in the slightest. In fact, as they reached the doorstep, he could faintly detect the smell of certain exotic mushrooms from inside the house...and did he just hear an explosion?

He couldn't say he _doubted_ Yukari's choice in instructors, but...he had to wonder what he'd gotten himself into.

"It is not customary to wait outside indefinitely," said person reminded him wryly.

Oh. Right. Taking a deep breath, Niels raised his arm and firmly knocked three times.

The sound of glass shattering startled him. "Fuck!" someone yelled. "Well, I'll go see who it is."

The door swung open, revealing a figure dressed in black and white and topped with the most ridiculous hat he'd ever seen.

And her face...

He would never forget that face for the rest of his life.

* * *

Not a typical morning, Marisa Kirisame thought.

Rarely did a complete stranger show up out of the blue, especially not a towering man with a...whatever the hell his style of clothing was called. She almost mistook him for a crow tengu before realizing that most people of that species had far smaller wings. That book of his also immediately caught her eye; not a magical grimoire, since her wards hadn't detected it, but obviously not normal reading either.

It was then that she noticed the presence of a second unexpected guest. Turning, she met the gleeful eyes of Yukari Yakumo.

In this situation that baffled even her, she had only one proper response.

"What the fuck."

* * *

 **R+R, especially if you have criticism.**

 **If a tree falls in a forest and no one knows it, then no one gives a shit. - Lao Tzu**


	5. Quick Message

Hello, dear readers.

I come today as the bearer of bad news: my update speed will probably slow down drastically from now on. I've just entered my junior year of high school, and between my loaded schedule and extracurriculars (plus applications...) I simply have far too little free time to write 3000+ words every two weeks.

My plan is to put off the next chapter for a bit and instead focus on completely finishing a rough skeleton of the plot; hopefully, doing so will streamline the writing process and let me maintain a _somewhat_ acceptable update schedule. So far I only have about 1700~ words typed up...yep, gonna be a while. Sorry.

To those of you who have read, followed, favorited, or reviewed this story, thank you very much. Your support means the world to me, and I promise I will do whatever I can to put out good content. In return, I hope that you will remain patient. It is not in my nature to put out regularly subpar work; I prefer quality over quantity.

Just so this note doesn't violate the terms and conditions, here's a little snippet of Chapter 3.

* * *

"No, seriously." Marisa rubbed her eyes, unsure of her current level of awareness. Perhaps those nasty fungi were more hallucinogenic than she'd anticipated. "What're you doin' _here_ _?_ Who the hell is that? What do you want from me? Are you here to kidnap me? I'll do anything, I swear—"

Yukari cut her off. "One question at a time, please."

"Fine." Deep breaths, Marisa told herself. Deep breaths. "Who is that?"

Niels bowed. "I am Niels Yakumo. It is a pleasure to make your acquiantance, Lady..." He trailed off.

The girl who most certainly was _not_ a lady smiled broadly. "Don't give me that 'Lady' crap! Just call me Marisa. Marisa Kirisame. I'm a magician." She looked at him curiously. "And you?"

"For now, I have no role to speak of," he explained delicately. "I am but the simple tsukumogami of Yukari Yakumo."

"Alright." She paused in realization. "Wait, tsukumogami _of_ Yukari Yakumo?"

A groan. Explanations did become oh so tedious after one gave them too many times.

"It's a long story."

* * *

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. No guarantees I'll reply within the hour or anything, but give me a day or two and I should have an answer.


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